I come to you with a vulnerable heart to share a bit of my process this week. I would also appreciate it if you could pray for the situation I am about to tell you about.
Last week as I was driving home from work, I got a notification at a stoplight that my friend had been assaulted. My heart began pounding and I began to pray. My mind was racing and I tried to get home as soon as possible so that I could read more information.
I pulled into our apartment complex and read the terrible news. My friend had been working at a home for troubled boys, and she had been attacked as she left her job that night. She was not found until the next morning and had been left in the cold for 7.5 hours. They caught her attacker, a 17 year old at the home, and it is being investigated as a sexual assault and attempted homicide.
How could this happen? This can’t be real life. My friend is the definition of happiness and sunshine. She has spent the last few years of her working in a homeless shelter and has dedicated her life to helping others. She had often said her job was difficult, but she loved knowing that she was making a difference.
It is not supposed to be this way. People who selflessly give themselves to a cause should not be brutally attacked and left for dead. Jesus, how could this happen? I am aware that I may sound like a broken record, but I want to be honest about these thoughts that play on a loop in my mind.
I have also felt afraid. For years I struggled with my PTSD and one of my biggest fears was being attacked. I would have panic attacks while driving home at night because I was scared that cars were following me. I swore off going to parks because I was afraid of being killed. My heart would race every time I walked into a gas station because I feared rape. As I pour out endless tears for my friend, I have had to fight my instincts to revert back to a fear filled life.
The one thing that has helped me through this week is Jesus. The name of Jesus has brought me comfort and peace in a horrifying situation. My friend would know the right things to say. She would boast that God is surely going to create a miracle. She would not doubt that Jesus will use all of this for good. She would shout from the rooftops that her God is good.
I have never been much of a prayer. What I mean is that I have a short attention span and have never been able to pray for hours on end. I would pause and give a short prayer and hope it was enough. Not this time. These prayers come easily and they are unending. I walk around my home declaring healing in the name of Jesus. I drive to work meditating on the goodness of God and asking him to help my friend fully recover.
My friend has opened her eyes and has been able to squeeze hands, but the doctors told her family that they believe she has brain damage. She is still on a breathing machine and will need a tracheostomy if things don’t change soon.
But we believe in hope. We believe that God can heal her completely. We believe that she won’t have brain damage in the name of Jesus.
No one is prepared for tragedy. No one is prepared to have your loved one being the victim of a terrible crime in the news. No one can prepare themselves for this.
Would you please pray for my friend to make a full recovery?