“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then” -Alice in Wonderland 💙
I wanted to share one of my biggest victories with you guys today…. it’s officially been one year since I smashed my scale with a hammer. 🔨 For so long I believed this moment to be impossible, but I did it. Years of consuming diet culture left me empty and trapped. I ate half of what my body needed, worked out religiously, took laxatives, and chewed food and spit it out. I believed that I need to be frail to obtain beauty.
Even after I finally broke free from those destructive habits, I found myself stepping on the scale every single morning, sometimes 5 times a day. I remember holding my breath, waiting to see if that number was acceptable to me. Would I have a good day or bad day? Was I beautiful or unlovable? Every single moment my mind was drowning in an obsession with food. The endless babble in my mind made me feel like I was going crazy. I craved peace and quiet from those obsessive thoughts.
One day, I decided that I had to get rid of this toxic “friend”. I gained a piece of my soul back that day.
The noise got quieter and a weight was lifted off of me. I thought the world would collapse without my scale, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I didn’t miss it in my life. It has been a year since I found peace, and I just want to scream from the rooftops: I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!😭💙