My First Poem In 2 Years

I wanted to share something dear to my heart this week, my poetry. When I was younger I wrote my first poem at 11pm at night. Believe it or not, my poem was about depression and suicide. I was only 12. Since that day, poetry became my means of expressing myself. As I battled with feelings I could barely comprehend, poetry gave me the outlet I needed. By the age of 17, I had a poetry book filled with hundreds of poems. When I began to heal from all of my past hurt, my poetry became how I could vocalize my relationship with God. It radiated with gratitude, love and hope.

On Sunday, I wrote my first poem in 2 years. This past year has been harder than I can express.

  • My family’s home burned down in a fire
  • My incredible mother in law has battled cancer and health issues
  • My old PTSD nightmares have decided to reappear
  • I’ve processed through a divorce of those close to me
  • And I have struggled to cope with my chronic pain.

I have days of pure bliss and days of heartbreak. When I can’t find the words to say, poetry offers me a solution. It isn’t perfect. It isn’t edited, but it is real. This is my heart. This is my process. Finding happiness doesn’t mean that you don’t deal with difficult situations. Sometimes chaos arrives when you least expect it. Sometimes life doesn’t seem to make sense. Sometimes you struggle to see the good….But if there is one thing I have learned, it is that there is always good. There is always hope. There is always a light to look upon.

More Than This Page

 

The tides changed quickly

Before I found a chance to blink

The love that once surrounded me

Appeared to go extinct

 

Tragedy after tragedy

My heart could not keep up

A life that once was beautiful

Felt suddenly corrupt

 

Everything that once made sense

Lost anything of worth

Life consumed with labor pains

Without the gift of birth

 

I fought so hard to get to here

Though now the rules have changed

These pillars once set in stone

Were suddenly rearranged

 

So where do I go from here

When hurt won’t seem to quit

How do I win a fight

That no training could equip

 

I can’t take away this pain

It’s not in my control

What can I do for now

To make my heart feel whole

 

I think of all great stories

And the heroes that live inside

I think of the crucial moment

Where they stand up and decide

 

Will they be swallowed by pain

Or choose to stand and fight

Will they let hope fade away

Or look beyond their sight

 

Is this the end of my story

Or a chapter in a book

Is this the moment I gave up

Or the moment I overtook

 

I choose to look for hope

Life is more than just this page

I choose to stay connected

I refuse to  disengage

 

I’ve had times like these before

I’ve lived through them all

Hope has won every time

No matter what I befall

 

This is part of being human

You get bad times with the good

Looking back on this moment

You will remember how you stood

 

You stood in the face of pain

Choosing to fight once more

You looked back on what was done

And opened another door

 

 

Jubilee Meyer

08-19-18

34 Comments

    1. There is. At the moment and in the midst of it all, we always think the hard times will continue on and on, without an end in sight. However, they end, maybe not on our time, but they do end. How is your family doing? And have you been able to visit?

  1. You know what I love, is being able to express yourself but still find a way to keep a rhyme structure. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think poems inherently have to rhyme, but it’s something I always used to kind of end up accidentally doing – like, I couldn’t find a way to not rhyme! I love that you have kept this so simple, readable, and yet so poignant and expressive.

  2. Sent a link of this poem to my Mom, she has been going through a lot the last couple of years and I think your poem will give her some hope. Thank you for sharing… You’re showing a part of your soul here. ♥

    1. That means so much to me, Thank you! I hope that it is able to give her hope <3

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