One thing always seems to calm me in moments of stress or heartache. In the book, “Self Compassion” by Kristin Neff, she talks about the power of mantras. She suggests that there are four important points to cover in this mindfulness practice.
Acknowledging your pain
“This is a moment of suffering.”
Recognizing that feeling pain is normal
“Suffering is a part of life.”
You are not alone
“There are many people in this world suffering too.”
Allowing yourself to experience self compassion
“May I be kind to myself in this moment.”
These words have consistently helped me in my hardest moments, but feel free to change around the words to whatever may resonate more with you personally. Ex: I am going through a really hard time. In life it is normal to go through painful moments. I know that I am not alone in my feelings of pain. I will take care of my mind, body, and soul as I work through this difficult moment.
Don’t cut yourself off from love
It can be so easy to isolate ourselves when we feel like everything is caving in. Maybe it’s because talking about it would mean acknowledging how much pain we feel. Or maybe we are afraid to burden others with our problems. But I have found that more often than not, your friends want to be there for you. You deserve to open yourself up to the love that is waiting for you. Sometimes we may feel like we don’t have all the words to express ourselves, but I believe that comes with lots and lots of practice. I would challenge you to reach out to at least one person. Even if all your message reads is, “I’m not okay.” It is okay to not be okay. Let others love you where you are, and try to stay open.
Do Something You Love
Thank God for self care! No, you do not need to solve all of your life problems today. It is perfectly acceptable to take a break and perhaps do nothing “productive” today. Ask yourself this simple question, “What do I need?” You might need to watch a funny movie to lift your spirits. You might feel like indulging in a bath and listening to your favorite songs. Or maybe, you need to read, do yoga, call your best friend etc. Self care looks different to everyone, so ask yourself what you need on a case to case basis.
Self Compassion is about the realization that it is okay to be human. It is okay to process through difficult moments. It is okay to be YOU. Give yourself grace and be kind to yourself where you are today. You deserve it.